Dear Zachariah,

My little man...words really cannot express the hold you have on my heart. Every day I understand more and more what I was told before you were born - that you would have a place in my heart that I could never believe. I said a while ago that God has used you as a "salvation" of sorts during this whole process. That is still so true. You have the most wonderful personality and your smile does something to me that there is no word for. I love to look at you and to snuggle with you (even though you don't like that very much). I love your sweetness and your obedience.

You are turning into such a little boy, new injuries every day! You've expanded my world so much and I am so grateful for you! I can't wait to see what God has in store for you...and right now I can't wait to see your big brown eyes in the morning :)

I love, love, love you.

Mama

Dear Ansley,

Some of the questions you ask just throw me for a total loop. I sometimes wonder how much you understand about Mimi dying. For a while you just accepted everything that you were told. It was very simple, Mimi was in Heaven. However, now you are starting to say things that make me think you are thinking more deeply about it.

Yesterday you asked if Mimi was at home with Poppy growing her hair back. I told you that no, she was at home in Heaven with Jesus. You thought a minute and then said, "but Poppy wants her to be at home with him." Sweetheart, that just broke my heart! I told her that yes he did and that I wanted her here too, but that God knows what is best and He decided it was time for her to be with Him. You seemed satisfied with that, but I just wonder what is going on in your sweet little head.

My sweet girl, you absolutely light up my life. Yes, you can be trying sometimes (being a "poophead") as you call it, but when you snuggle with me, when you giggle, when you are just "you"...it makes everything ok.

I love your sensitive, sweet spirit and I hope it never goes away!

I love, love, love you!

Mama